As of Yet Untitled
by doomofraven
Summary: In this universe, Zim is tall. Zim is an invader and Zim is in the Milky Way galaxy researching the planets for Tallest Miyuki. For some reason, he crashes on Earth and meets kid Dib. And all of a sudden, the confident invader is questioning himself. ZADR
1. Chapter 1

As of Yet Untitled

**As of Yet Untitled**  
**By Doomofraven**  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Warnings:** romance, technical pedobear  
**Pairing:** ZADR  
**Disclaimer:** Invader Zim is owned by Jhonen Vasquez, who hates my guts for writing this  
**Dedicated to:** Yeyana  
**Summary:** In this universe, Zim is tall. Zim is an invader and Zim is in the Milky Way galaxy researching the planets for Tallest Miyuki. For some reason, he crashes on Earth and meets kid Dib. And all of a sudden, the confident invader is questioning himself. What sort of insane things will ensue? Only one way to find out...  
**Beta:** None

Chapter 1

"Ugh… What on Irk just happened?" A gloved hand reached up to gingerly touch a swollen temple. He hissed in pain. "Computer, run diagnostic scan. "Nothing happened. "Computer?" Large red orbs blinked open, then shot wide at the scene they beheld. His Voot! His glorious Voot! IT was in ruins! His dark red cruiser had somehow managed to come half apart in what appeared to be a crash landing. He was lying just outside of the wreckage in a tangle of tree limbs and machinery. He tried to sit up, but found a large chunk of wood baring his passage. "GIR! Where are you Gir?"

A smart-looking SIR unit popped out of the rubble nearby. "Yes, my master?" it answered with a sharp salute.

"Get this thing off of me!" He shoved at the wood as spider limbs slipped out of his pak to assist in the maneuver. "Why in the name of the Tallest did we crash anyway?"

"I suspect the navigation system, master, sir," the robot replied as it nimbly lifted the large chunk off of the Irken as if it weighed no more than a feather.

"The nav system? I just upgraded the nav system!" A now infuriated, disoriented Irken stood to his full height – a grand total of a very-proud-of six feet and three inches – and brushed off his deep red tunic. "What planet are we on anyway? I remember being in the Milky Way galaxy and this was the only solar system with inhabitable planets in it. But which one is this?" He reached up to finger a leaf on one of the still-intact trees and was quite astonished when the thing simply popped off in his hand. Bringing the foliage closer for further inspection, he remarked "This planet may actually be interesting…" Then he turned to the robot, quickly regretting the quick action when the world started to spin – and not in the way it was supposed to. "GIR! Go scout the area for any inteslligent beings and see what we should disguise ourselves as while I assess the damage."

"Yes, my master!" the SIR unit said with another sharp salute before dashing off into the trees.

Metal legs brought the Irken closer to the wreckage that was his precious Voot cruiser. "Ah, Irk! This is going to take forever to fix!" His hand drifted over twisted metal, still hot from its trip through the atmosphere. "Just great. Miyuki is going to kill me for this wasted time." He let out a sigh and continued to peruse the damage, noting his navigational system looked beyond repair. He'd just have to fashion a new one or oder it and wait even longer. The engines at least looked okay… Then a bright flash had him seeing stars. He whirled to its source only to get flashed again. The bright light in the almost inky darkness was far too much for his eyes to bear so he shut them and allowed his lekku to do the searching.

Soon, his hand had found a collar and the apparatus that had been causing such optic disturbances. With a quick toss, he heard a satisfying crash – indicating the damned thing was broken. Now he leveled eyes on what was the strangest creature he'd ever seen. Pale pinkish skin, garish amber eyes behind thick circular optic lenses, and a tuft of what appeared to be fur on top in place of lekku – although there was one piece that looked like an odd antennae of sorts. He smugly noticed the organism was quite short – and he had a HUGE head. But one thing unnerved him. The creature was staring at him as if he'd never seen an Irken before – which wasn't likely seeing as he'd been the first of the Empire to step foot in the galaxy. "What are you looking at?" he growled, his lekku flattening against his head – but that only made the thing _smile_!

It wiggled around happily, grinning in a half-triumphant, half-amazed manner. "Wow! A real alien! I can't believe I finally found one!"

"Alien? Pfft." The Irken dropped the creature – he could study it later when he wasn't so busy and it was properly sedated. "I'm no alien. Haven't you ever seen an Irken before?" He glanced at the organism who had fallen silent when the Irken had begun speaking. The taller of the two smiled at the other's dumbfounded expression. "Of course not. I'm the first one here anyway. By the way, what planet is this? Venus, Earth or Mars?" The Irken had returned his attention to the engine, poking, prodding, trying not to burn himself on the superheated metal.

"Earth!" the creature cried suddenly, bounding up to the taller to watch what he was doing. "What planet are you from? What's that? Why'd you crash here?"

The Irken rolled his eyes at the questions. But at least he knew where he was now. "I'm from Irk. This is – or was – a Voot Cruiser. And I have no idea why I crashed. Will you get out of the way?" He nudged the excited creature away with a booted foot. "Don't you have someplace else to be?" His annoyance was getting the best of him as his training kicked in – Remain Undetected. "On second thought, you should probably stay here…" He'd have to wipe the creature's memory later.

The thing only seemed to get more excited at the Irken's comment as it squeed happily before moving right back next to the Irken who was now trying to reconnect the Voot's computer system. "So, why are you here on Earth?"

"I crashed. Other than that, I have no purpose here."

"Why were you over here? I bet Irk is far away."

"Irk is far away. I'm exploring for my Tallests."

"Your tallest? What's that?"

"My people's most benevolent leader."

"Like a king or something?"

"In this case Queen." He'd heard of other planets that used 'king' and 'queen' as titles for their rulers. Earth must be one of those as well. "Why so many questions, Earth-thing? You are very curious."

"It's Earthling."

"What?" The Irken turned to glare at the creature. He hated being corrected by anyone or anything – and especially by something shorter than him.

"It's not Earth-thing. It's Earth_ling_. Besides, my name's Dib Membrane anyway. What's your name?"

"Dib Membrane… What an amusing title, Earth_ling_." He emphasized the last bit with an angry furrowing of his brow ridges. "I am called Zim back home. My title is Invader of the Irken Empire. Though I mostly do exploring these days…" He trailed off as his attention returned to reconnecting wires, so he missed the look of horror that spread across the young features of Dib Membrane.

"So you're an alien invader?" he asked, clutching the hem of his short trench coat in his hands. His amber eyes were huge in both fear and astonishment. "I thought invaders were supposed to be mean and scary!"

"Am I not mean and scary? I guess I'm not trying hard enough." He let the sarcasm drip, thought he doubted the Dib would catch much of it. He'd seen far more intelligent creatures in his explorations. And in truth, his patience was wearing thin as his temple began to throb more instantly with pain. He'd have to attend to that wound rather soon. "And I guess you could call me an alien invader – if you insist upon using the term 'alien.' After all, technically you're an alien too."

"I am not!" the Earthling protested immediately. Zim didn't have to look up to know there was a pout on the Dib's face. He could hear it in his tone of voice. "I was born here on Earth. _You're_ the alien!"

"But to me you are foreign. I've never seen an Earthling before and therefore, you're an alien – to me at least." Zim explained this as if he were explaining it to a newborn smeet. Were these Earthlings rejects or something in intelligence? Probably.

Dib frowned. "When you put it that way… I guess you're right… But you're still the extraterrestrial here!" He pointed an accusing finger at the Irken.

Zim narrowed his eyes at the fleshy digit, mildly curious, but moreover annoyed. "What. Ever," he hissed through clenched teeth before returning to his work once more. Finally, a hologram – thought shattered looking – popped out of the halo-monitor-disk. "Thank Irk! I was afraid I wasn't going to get this piece of junk working!"

"Is that a hologram?" the Dib asked as he circled the busted piece of machinery to get a better look. "My dad tried making one once – before he decided making a toaster better was more important… He's a scientist you know."

"Toaster…?" Zim gave the Earthling a confused look. He'd never heard of a toaster. What did that have to do with science?

"You know! It's a small appliance that you stick slices of bread or frozen waffles into and you push down the lever and the coils get hot and then the bread pops back out a minute or two later all toasty and brown. Toaster." Dib looked a little bemused, as if he'd never had to explain something like that before – and he probably hadn't.

Zim's mouth opened for a moment before he promptly shut it. He frowned, then opened his mouth again. "What does any of that have to do with science? It performs the function already, doesn't it? What's to make better?"

"Exactly!" Dib cried, turning on the spot to face away from the Irken. "Finally somebody understands! I keep telling them there's no need to make a stupid toaster better! But nooo! They won't listen to me! 'Course they never do anyway…"

Zim nodded, half-listening to the Earthling as he tried to find the communications icon on the blurry hologram. He needed to call Tallest Miyuki and tell her what happened before she sent out a search party or something equally ridiculous. "There you are!" he declared happily as he selected the icon.

"There who is?" Dib asked, turning back just as a wire snaked out of Zim's pak and hooked itself to a port. "Woah! How'd you do that?"

Zim thumbed at his pak. "My pak is way more advanced than your toaster." He disregarded the Earthlings sudden shift to look at his back, not feeling threatened by the tiny Earthenoid in the least. Another arm slipped out – earning a gasp from the Dib – with a communicator held in its clamped end. He took it and thumbed through the contact list until he found the Massive's direct line. He hated having to do all of this manually.

Just then, Gir returned, laden with information, but he suddenly stopped when the Earthling cried out "COOL! A robot!" The SIR unit went on the defensive, crouching into kung fu position.

Zim grimaced at the shout. "Gir, keep an eye on the Earthling while I call the Tallest. We don't want any _accidents_."

"Yes, my master!" Gir said with another salute before moving to distract the Dib.

Zim's attention was already back on the communicator as it connected to the Massive. A communications drone answered it. "Good day, sir!" it said cheerfully. "How may I direct your call?"

"Connect me to Tallest Miyuki immediately," Zim ordered, glaring at the cheerful drone.

"Right away, Invader Zim."

The screen went black and was replaced by the Armada's insignia. 'Please hold' circled the logo in his native language and cheesy elevator music played over the speakers. Finally, the Tallest picked up. Teal eyes searched Zim's face with worry. "We'd received a message your ship had gone down. Are you okay, Zim?"

"I'm fine. A little bruised, but otherwise fine. I appreciate your concern, my Tallest."

"What happened, Zim? Voots don't just suddenly crash into planets."

"I'm not sure what happened at the moment." He gave her a slight panorama of the damage, editing out Gir and the earthling – no need for his Tallest to know he'd been discovered already. "But as you can see the damage is quite extensive and will require a lot of work."

"We could send you another one immediately—"

"By the time it got here I'd already be done fixing this one. I'll just have to set up base here and fix the cruiser. Though I think I need to place an order for a new navigation system immediately."

"I'll get a drone on that. Skizzy! Order a Voot Nav 4000 system for Zim immediately!" she ordered a drone off screen. "What planet are you on?"

"I'm on Earth. I'll try to find out what I can about this and the other two inhabitable planets in the solar system while I'm here. I won't waste my time here, my Tallest."

"I never thought that you would. Just keep me updated, Zim. That's important as you well know."

"You've got it, my Tallest. Invader Zim, over and out." The wire disconnected as the last of the computer's battery died. "Gir, we're going to be stuck here for a while. Give me an update on this Earth planet." He turned back to find Dib squatting next to the robot, which was glaring at him, and poking at Gir's abdomen.

But the robot snapped to attention as soon as it was addressed. "Planet Earth. Only intelligent life form: human. This one appears to be smarter than average as well. Disguise level: low. No advanced technology can be seen though her Tallest may appreciate a few new playthings." It glared at the human. "This one probably wouldn't make a good one."

"I'm a perfectly good playmate, thank you very much!" the human retorted indignantly. "Way better than _you_ robot."

Gir scoffed and turned away.

Zim simply rolled his eyes. "Well, her Tallest Miyuki has stated that I can stay as long as it takes to fix the voot – or as long as it takes to get the nav system here." He looked around at the wreckage. "But we'll probably be here well after the arrival of that as well." He sighed. "This is just great."

"You're staying? That is SO great! Now the other kids can't say I'm crazy! I did find a real alien!"

"Irken!" Zim corrected in a shouting manner. But he quickly lost his annoyance when he processed the rest of the statement. "Kids? You associate yourself with a bunch of young goats?" 'Kid' was the term the goat-people of Baabalon 9 called their smeets.

Dib laughed. "You're funny. And no, I don't hang out with a bunch of goats – although I do wonder about Billy sometimes – but that's aside from the point! Kid is used in place of child sometimes."

"You Earthlings and your strange terms," Zim said with a waving gesture. How odd how they associated those two terms together. "There shall be no show-and-tell of the great Invader Zim. I have more important things to do than wow your smeetling companions." He turned back to the wreckage as a small pod popped out of his pack and into his three-fingered hand. He held it out for Gir to take – the robot already knowing what he was supposed to do.

The robot set to vacuuming up the pieces into the pod – a pink bubble expanding on one end as it was filled.

"Gir, did you find any suitable location for our new base?" Zim asked, watching the robot and blatantly ignoring the human.

"There was one location that seems as if it would work. An abandoned lot next to a boxy white structure."

"That sounds like my house! You could live next to me! That would be so cool!"

Zim frowned. "I suppose that would do. But you can't tell anyone what I am."

Dib immediately teared up. "B-but! What's the point of that? Don't you _want_ to take over the planet or something? Would you want your presence known? You know, the whole 'take me to your leader' kind of thing? That's how it happens in the movies. And I can be the dashing hero who saves the planet—"

"Listen, Dib-thing!" Zim cried, thoroughly irritated now. "That is no way to go about taking over a planet. You have to be subtle with creatures like yourself. Blend in for a time, learn about the planet and its defenses against intergalactic attack, then strike when the moment is right. Not before. And never, EVER let your presence be known to the beings you are trying to conquer. And didn't I already tell you I'm not interested in taking over this dirt ball? I just want to fix my ship so I can go home. I've already been away for three years and I would very much like to go back to Irk. Understand?"

Dib just stared up at the Irken for the longest time. And after a while, Zim's hardened glare softened as he felt a brief sense of fondness for the human child – which was immediately squashed like the bug it was when he turned away.

Another pod popped out of the Irken's pak and he held it up as it expanded into a small tablet computer screen. "Dib-Earthling, what would make a proper disguise for this planet?" He waved the boy over as he sat on a fallen log. The Earthling picked his way over. Zim scrolled through various disguises provided by the information Gir had collected – thank Irk for wireless linkups between SIR and pak.

"How about that one?" Dib asked as Zim scrolled to an interesting ensemble: long black hair pulled back into a pony tail, a long sleeved red shirt and loose fitting slacks over standard uniform boots with human-eye contacts in a shade of gray.

"It will do for the time being." He clicked a button with one claw-like finger, then snapped the pod shut and handed it to a spider leg as it came out to receive the implement. A few moments later, a hologram was serving as a disguise until a more permanent form could be created. Zim buffed his fingers, disliking their apparent nudity – even though he knew they were still covered under the hologram. But then his gaze shifted to the boy staring at him. Zim was more on his level as he was sitting so the human didn't need to crane his neck to peruse the disguised Irken. And he just couldn't help but stare. Zim's face grew hot and a few shades darker as he flushed in a combination of embarrassment and flattery. Apparently his disguised suited his frame. But he was getting annoyed again. "What are you staring at?" His eyes narrowing dangerously at the boy, he suddenly felt as if he shouldn't be so angry – but he was Zim and Zim did as Zim pleased.

"N-nothing…" Dib replied, his own face flushing an interesting shade of red that intrigued the invader and averted his eyes.

"Clean up complete, master," Gir called from some distance away.

"Come here Gir. We'll have to find suitable disguises for you and the bag."

The robot trailed over, its face set in a grave expression. If there was anything the SIR hated more, it was a disguise. He preferred being 'in the nude.'

"He could be a kid!" Dib said excitedly as a key pad and halo-monitor popped out of the top of the SIR unit's head.

Zim started scrolling through Gir-sized disguises and waited until Dib picked one he liked. "That one! It's so cool!" He was talking about a little goth boy disguise – complete with eye liner and pentagram necklace. He smirked wickedly as the robot took on the form.

The Irken's brow rose. "Interesting choice…" One he would be changing later – if the robot would even where a disguise to begin with, that is. Gir glared up at him, looking quite the little devil. Zim smirked back as he quickly disguised the hovering bag as a common garbage bag and moved to put it on his shoulders – as if he were carrying it. "All right Gir, lead the way."

Gir glared again before doing as he was bid. "Yes, my master," he grated.

Dib snickered – earning him a glance from the Irken. But the boy simply smiled at the invader as if nothing was wrong. The Irken knew better. The human had something against the robot. And Zim wasn't sure what he would do if the pair got into a fight. Which was unusual. Usually he'd side with his robot. But could an hour with a strange creature change his view of things?


	2. Chapter 2

As of Yet Untitled

**As of Yet Untitled**  
**By Doomofraven**  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Warnings:** romance, technical pedobear  
**Pairing:** ZADR  
**Disclaimer:** Invader Zim is owned by Jhonen Vasquez, who hates my guts for writing this  
**Dedicated to:** Yeyana  
**Summary:** In this universe, Zim is tall. Zim is an invader and Zim is in the Milky Way galaxy researching the planets for Tallest Miyuki. For some reason, he crashes on Earth and meets kid Dib. And all of a sudden, the confident invader is questioning himself. What sort of insane things will ensue? Only one way to find out...  
**Beta:** None

Chapter 2

"Hey! That's my house!" Dib cried as they came up a small hill. They had made good time surprisingly as Zim was genuinely curious about almost everything they had passed. He recognized a few things – stop lights for instance – but generally knew them slightly differently. Where as here the color red indicated 'stop' it was blue on other planets. Now he looked at this white boxy structure that Dib called his 'house.' It looked like something that insanely boring planet Geometria would have. The Geometrans were excellent mathematicians – to an extent – but were otherwise worthless. A few of the block-shaped people had become playthings of the Empire, but the rest had faced the cannons of the Organic Sweep. Geometria then became Park Planet 8, in other words, an equally boring parking deck.

"Master this is it." Gir indicated a dandelion strew lot with a large magnolia tree toward the back next to the Dib's house.

"It will do. Make it look like…" A claw roamed around the dark neighborhood, glancing over the stylized architecture until it settled on a modern-looking one, but less boxy compared to the Dib's.

"Yes, my master." As Gir set to work, Dib captured the Irken's attention by grabbing his hand.

A shiver went up the Irken's arm and then down his spine. His eyes widened, then narrowed as he turned to growl at the boy, but it died in his throat. The Dib looked strangely _cute_ as he gazed up at Zim with pleading amber eyes.

"Come to my house. At least let me show you to my dad. I need someone to believe me." His voice was quite, not even a hint of a whine could be heard. But his tone was downright begging.

Zim just stood there for what felt like hours, looking down at the boy. He bit his lip. "Didn't you say your dad's a scientist? He'd want to pick me apart. I can't let that happen. Self-preservation you know." He frowned. Why wasn't he just saying 'no' and giving the boy a sharp kick in the rump like he normally would with Gir?

"How about my sister? She's younger than me. She won't pick you apart – in a literal sense. I just… I just _need_ this, okay? I _need_ someone to understand. To know I haven't been lying all these years."

Zim's frown intensified, causing the boy's lip to quiver. The Irken just couldn't have that. It was… tempting. "Okay, okay! Your sister but that's it – got it?"

Dib instantly brightened and bounced up and down excitedly. He tugged on Zim's arm, willing him to walk faster as he led him down the side walk to his house. The Invader gave his robot a forlorn look, but didn't say anything otherwise. The goth-boy-disguised robot shoved his nose in the air before planting a device in the center of the yard. Moments later, wires burst from the ground, but the human didn't even stop to watch – surprising Zim – just continuing to purposefully tug the Irken up to his stoop. He thrust open the door and finally let go of Zim's hand only to start calling for his little sister.

"Gaz! Gaz! You won't believe what I found!" He dashed out of the room, leaving Zim to stand awkwardly in the living area staring at another human creature that looked as if it wanted to kill the Dib. "Gaaaz!" Dib called, running back through the room and past the couch where he tripped on the other human's outstretched leg. The Earthling went flying, just about to hit a table containing a Membrane-shaped lamp until Zim grabbed him by the back of his coat.

Dib blinked at the Irken as he set him upright. Zim didn't say anything, just nudged Dib toward his sister in a 'just-do-it-already' sort of fashion. Zim wasn't even nervous. At least not until Gaz's deadly gaze settled on him. Then he felt his spooch turn sickeningly. This was obviously a creature to avoid.

"Who are you?" she growled, glaring at the disguised invader. "And why are you in my house?"

Dib decided now would be a good time to talk. "Oh! Gaz! This is Zim! Zim's an alien. I _told_ you I'd find one! I told you!"

"He looks pretty human to me, idiot. But, why's your skin green?"

Zim shot her a glare as if she'd asked the dumbest question in the universe. "Why is yours pink?" He crossed his arms over his chest and raised a brow at her. But Dib suddenly pulled his arm way, bouncing up and down excitedly as he held onto the skinny limb.

"Show her Zim! Show her!" he said, bouncing even more.

"Insufferable human…" the Irken muttered as he let the hologram shut off. "Are you happy now, Dib thing?"

Gaz's eyes widened for a moment, but only for a moment. They narrowed just as quickly. "What is that? Some kind of cheap Halloween costume? Get out of here. And take my stupid brother with you. You interrupted my video game." With that said, the female turned her attention back to her Game Slave.

"Satisfied?" Zim asked, booting the hologram back up, despite feeling a necessity to kill the purple-furred Earth child.

Dib nodded, then tugged Zim back through the door and into the night. Gir was waiting for them on the sidewalk in front of a sharp looking red house.

"It's perfect," Zim said with a maniacal grin. "Come Gir! Let us rest for the evening!" He started to march toward his house, but was stopped short by the creature who was still holding his hand. The Irken had grown used to the feeling and had quickly forgotten the human boy had even been there.

Now he looked back at a downcast Diblet. "What is wrong, Dib-thing?"

"Can I come too?" he asked quietly, refusing to look up at the much taller Irken, keeping his gaze on the ground.

"Don't you have a sleep cycle, Diblet?" Zim asked, a brow raising.

"I have insomnia. I rarely sleep."

"Then if you can not sleep… And since your sister told me to take you with me – and I cannot disobey the demon child lest she smite me… And I cam curious about your planet… I suppose you may come inside the mighty Zim's base…"

Dib brightened, smiling up at Zim, giving the Irken a satisfied, warm and fuzzy feeling. "Really?" the Dib asked, almost bouncing again.

Zim's eyes rolled. "Of course. Just don't touch anything that looks important. I think you can handle that." Dib nodded his reply, grinning. "Well, come along then." The Irken tugged on the hand that was holding his before taking another step toward his temporary dwelling. All sorts of questions were starting to pop up in his head.

The door swung shut behind them and Zim felt Dib's hand leave his. But that was okay with him. He moved on into the living area, which looked very uncomfortable to him. It was very plain by his standards. Just a simple maroon couch, a large screened TV, and a wooden coffee table, bare of course. And the colors were just drab. Everything was very neutral. Beige walls and Berber carpet. Not something he liked. He personally would've gone with pink. Lots of pinks and reds – his favorites. But this would do for now.

Zim noticed that Gir had disappeared – probably to do something with their busted Voot. Why hadn't he brought a spare with him again? Oh, yeah. Wouldn't fit. He'd packed enough crap to repair an armada, but hadn't had room for a spare Voot. He could've smacked himself. Of course, he had used almost every part for something. His Voot was old too. Maybe he should've requested a new one anyway. Nah, too late now. He flopped down on the couch and disengaged the hologram once more. Letting out a loud sigh, ruby orbs drifted shut to allow for some sort of relaxation on this actually comfy sofa. Okay, he had to give the robot some credit for thinking of his comfort even though he was clearly angry with him. Thank Irk for AI upgrades. Gir with learning skills and half-programmed 'feelings' was way better than stone-cold, can't-function-without-orders Gir.

The Irken was so into his thoughts that he'd neglected to remember the human boy was there. Or that he was an exceptionally curious human boy. Or to keep his guard up, for that matter. And suddenly, he was on sensory overload. Unseeing eyes snapped open as he sprung to attention, only to receive a sharp tug to the lekku and ultimately knocking himself out due to pain and over running his brain with too much feeling.

"Oh shit!" Dib murmured, staring wide-eyed at the Irken crumpled on the floor. In his hand was a limp antennae, connected to an unmoving alien body. "Oh shit!" he let go, backing away slowly on the couch. He was going to be in so much trouble. He'd killed an alien invader. And he'd had a leader. And they were probably going to kill him – unless that robot got to him first. "Ohh shit!" Amber eyes were wide with fear as he searched the tiny room. What to do? What to do!?

His eyes landed on the front door. He could leave. But that would be wrong. What if the alien wasn't dead? He knew where he lived. He'd come find him. "Shit! Shit! Shit! Dib Membrane, what've you gotten yourself into? Why couldn't I like _real_ science? Why'd I have to be a paranormal investigator? I'm going to die a fifteen year old virgin because I killed an alien!"

Suddenly the Irken groaned and shifted. He was waking up. Dib let out a sigh of relief. Thank God. The alien was alive. He wouldn't have an extraterrestrial empire hunting him down. But then another thought crossed his mind. Was Zim going to be angry he'd touched his antennae?

Dib swallowed audibly the Irken hadn't told him he couldn't and had seemed just fine when he'd held his hand – even thought it had a glove on it. But where his antennae that sensitive? Maybe he had reacted to something else. Dib prayed that was the case. If there was a God up there – and Dib hoped to hell there was – please let it not have been him.

"Irken hell…" Zim murmured, rubbing at a sore eyeball as he started to get up. "What in the name of the Tallest just happened?"

Dib sighed inwardly, relief sweeping him as he realized the Irken didn't know he had done anything. _There is a God,_ he thought happily. _Thank you!_ He slipped off the couch to help the taller being to his feet. Dib hadn't hit his growth spurt yet, so he was much shorter than the other boys in tenth grade, but his birthday was in less than a month, so he hoped something would happen by then. "Are you okay? I thought you had a seizure or something."

Zim blinked up at him and Dib reveled in the sight of his red reflection for a few moments. Something about those eyes made his knees weak. Maybe - _no_. He pushed the thought aside. He couldn't possibly be attracted to an alien, much less a _male_ alien. It would've been slightly different if Zim was a girl. Or was he even a he? That would be a question for later. "Come on. Let's get you back on the couch." He took one arm and lifted while Zim shifted his weight around until he was half standing. But then the alien's knees gave out, toppling them both onto the couch, the bigger, slightly heavier Irken on the top. _Christ!_ Dib sighed inwardly again, staying still for the moment. "Zim? Are you okay?"

The Irken grunted but didn't move, seemingly quite content to remain where he was. But Dib wasn't. He was very uncomfortable and felt the urge to squirm – which he was fighting with all his might. He didn't need an irritated Irken. But he was fighting a loosing battle. After all, he had a knee against his inner thigh and an elbow digging into his rib cage. Not to mention the alien's lips were blowing air across his skin, creating wave after wave of gooseflesh. He was in a predicament here. At least he could get the elbow out of his side. He fumbled around with one hand, trying to find the Irken's. After three failed attempts, he found it and dragged the hand in a different direction, releaving him of his side pain. _Whew!_ Now if he could just get out from under the Irken, things would get better. As he prepared to move, the alien's voice broke his train of thought.

It was crisp and sharp and altogether deadly, much like the appendage that was now hovering over his face. "Don't move," the Irken hissed next to his ear. Dib was just about to ask why when Zim continued. "You don't think I know what you did, do you?"

_Oh shit!_ Dib could've sworn worse than any sailor to have ever sailed the seven seas in that one moment. He was going to die. Scenes from his short, miserable life started flashing before his eyes. That time when he was four and Gaz had said her first word – 'kill.' When he was in the second grade and he'd found Bigfoot – no one had believed him then or now. The Loch Ness Monster in the Cest Pool – no believers there either. The Career Day trip in eighth grade – what a joke. And finally tonight, when he'd found the thing he'd been searching hardest for – which was also about to kill him. Good end to a bad life, he supposed.

"I thought so." He could hear the grin in the alien's voice. "Rule number two: Never under any circumstances touch my lekku. Next time, I will kill you." Then the weight was gone from Dib and he opened his eyes. Zim was gone – at least from his line of sight. He heard the TV click on a moment later and he sat up, rubbing his neck as if he'd been strangled.

He looked at the TV and noticed there were different colored blobs talking in a very strange language with little subtitles scrolling on the bottom of the screen in what Dib could only describe as a cross between cuniform and that horrible Windings font. "What's that?" he asked quietly, not sure if the Irken – who had his back to him, appendage put away for the moment – was in the mood to answer.

"'Blobs of Paradise'…" Zim replied a few moments later when the show had cut to a commercial for what looked like soap to Dib. "It's a new episode." The alien moved back to take up an entire corner of the couch by lounging on it like a rock star would, his back to the corner, one arm on the arm rest, the other on the back of the couch while one leg was on the cushion, the other on the floor. Dib's eyes were drawn to the edge of his dark red tunic which had ridden up slightly – and there was a slightly noticeable bulge. _Boy alien conformation complete,_ Dib thought.

Then the human felt a red, hot glare on him and his eyes shifted to the Irken's. One of them was subtly twitching. Angry Irken, oh crap.

"Don't insult me," Zim hissed through clenched teeth. "I'd never consider something like that with something like _you_."

Dib flushed, more in anger than embarrassment. "I wasn't even thinking that! I was wondering if you were a boy or a girl! For Christ's sake!" He turned away, crossing his arms over his chest, pouting slightly. He leaned back into the couch and glared at one of the large windows which had its drapes drawn.

"That is a female Irken," Zim said.

Dib turned back to the Irken who was pointing at the TV. The human's gaze followed. Oh, so females were like they were here. They had boobs. "Oh…" Dib said.

"That is Tak. She's one of Irk's greatest film stars. Looks like she going to be in another romance flick with Skooge…" A tall – but not as tall as Zim – male came onto the screen and said something in another language. Zim cringed. "And it's been dubbed wretchedly in Blurban for those damn blob people." Zim scoffed. "Blobs are only good for two things: reading cue cards and working a camera. All the best soaps are blobian productions."

Half of that had gone over his head. "How many other alien races are there?" Dib asked, his eyes glued to the TV as 'Blobs of Paradise' came back on.

"Thousands," Zim answered, fiddling with the remote until the subtitles switched to English.

"Wow… Thousands… Do you guys speak English too?" Dib asked, turning to the alien.

"What am I speaking right now?" Zim asked, giving the boy a 'what-are-you?-a-dumbass?' look. "We speak Irken always. We generally write and read in Irken. But Irken is so close to English, we had to adopt the English alphabet as well as our secondary language. I'm just old enough to know both. You'd be surprised how many other planets learned and adopted your language from radio and TV broadcasts emitted from your galaxy. 'I Love Lucy' is one of Tallest Miyuki's favorites."

"So you guys knew about Earth already?"

"A little. Just from scrambled wavelengths. Miyuki hasn't seen all of the snow. Just parts. We knew they came from this galaxy. Just not which solar system or planet. Gir has obtained a lot of information on the planet, which is good. Miyuki will be pleased. Do they have 'I Love Lucy' on disk?"

"I think they have it on DVD… But I'm not sure. We can always rip them. Dad has connections." Dib did shifty eyes to be suspicious. "I can see what I can do." Best way to an alien empire's heart – appease them. Then strike when their guard is down.

"Miyuki will be most pleased," Zim murmured, his attention on the TV as a dramatic part of 'Blobs of Paradise' came on. "I swear! Gerilack doesn't deserve her. He's such a low life."

"Wait – which one is Gerilack?" Dib asked, thoroughly confused which blob was who.

"Gerilack is that one. Whimsy is the one with the bow. Gerilack's twin brother, Zomzom has a hat he likes to wear. And then there's Dr. Mink-ta, who also has the hots for Whimsy. And Anna who wants Dr. Mink-ta and Gerilack. It's pretty complicated. I heard a rumor someone was going to have a baby too." The Irken shook his head sadly. "'Blobs of Paradise' is the best soap opera in the universe though. Even if 'One Day At A Time' is a close second."

"What's 'One Day At A Time' about?" Dib asked, genuinely interested in intergalactic programs. Maybe he could learn more about some of the more important alien races this way.

"'One Day At A Time' is a Meekrobian show. Thought it's produced by the Blobs. It plays a lot on the fact Meekrobs can shape-shift. Lots of drama there. They're constantly back-stabbing each other. Tak made a guest appearance once. It was pretty neat. But I think my favorite show is Kops."

"Cops?" Dib questioned. They had _Cops_ in space?

"Yeah. Kops. You should see some of the asteroid trash they dig up."

"There's police in space?"

Zim snorted. "Of course, humans. They only patrol the most prominent areas though. The universe is too big otherwise. It's an Irken-run kind of deal. Though we do employ several races from Antägg to Vortian. Oh shoot! You made me miss the best part." He picked up the remote and rewound a little bit. So they had DVR in space too, eh?

Dib opened his mouth to speak, but the Irken waved for him to shut up again. So Dib sat there and watched Zim's intense look as he stared at the TV – as if something amazing was going to happen. And then it did. The Irken seemed to wilt. His antennae drooped and his jaw fell open.

"She… She can't!" he cried, his voice wavering. "She can't leave!"

Dib turned his attention to the screen where the bow-wearing blob was moving away. He frowned. What the hell was going on? Then the credits started rolling.

"Irken hell!" Zim shouted, leaping off of the chair. "Those damn blobs will have a lot to deal with when I get back!" He threw the remote onto the couch and shuffled away. "What is there to eat in this dump…?" He pushed open a door and left Dib alone.

The human was left beyond confused. He assumed Whimsy was leaving the show, but he couldn't be sure. "Zim…?" he murmured, getting up and following. It's not like he hadn't been told he couldn't…

"Why is there no food in my fridge…?" Zim asked quietly, staring at the barren shelf. In fact, there was nothing on any of the shelves. In any of the cupboards. In any of the rooms. "Shit." He was hungry. "Diiiib!" he called, turning to find the human already in the room. "I have no food."

Dib blinked at him. "And…?"

Zim frowned. "And I'm hungry."

"What am I supposed to do about that?"

Zim's eyes rolled. "First I've adopted you as my host for the planet. Second, all my food apparently was destroyed when I crashed. And third, I have no Earth currency."

Dib reached into his back pocket and pulled out a black rectangle-shaped something. "I've got my dad's credit card. We could go get pizza or something."

"Pizza? What's that?"

Dib stared at him. "You don't know what…" He smacked himself in the forehead. "Put your disguise on. I'll show you."


	3. Chapter 3

As of Yet Untitled

**As of Yet Untitled**  
**By Doomofraven**  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Warnings:** romance, technical pedobear  
**Pairing:** ZADR  
**Disclaimer:** Invader Zim is owned by Jhonen Vasquez, who hates my guts for writing this  
**Dedicated to:** Yeyana  
**Summary:** In this universe, Zim is tall. Zim is an invader and Zim is in the Milky Way galaxy researching the planets for Tallest Miyuki. For some reason, he crashes on Earth and meets kid Dib. And all of a sudden, the confident invader is questioning himself. What sort of insane things will ensue? Only one way to find out...  
**Beta:** None

CHAPTER 3

"And what sort of torture do you humans conduct here?" Zim asked, wincing noticeably from the screams and shouts of the dozens of Earth children running around the floors of Bloaty's Pizza Hog. GIR had decided not to tag along so Zim was on his own as far as information retrieval went.

Dib laughed at his question. "It's not torture for kids. It's supposed to be fun. For the parents on the other hand—" The human mad a loose gesture at a few booths near the game floor containing zombie-looking parental figures. "I suppose you could call this hell for them."

Zim snorted. "I can only imagine why," he replied, glaring at a particularly loud child running in a circle, screaming bloody murder, with large wads of orange tickets in his hands. Zim wished suddenly – as he often did when he spotted something rather annoying – that he could shoot lasers from his eyes like some of the people of Ocularus. That would be so neat… Blood splattering everywhere, screams of terror filling the room instead of cries of joy… It would be so easy…

"Hey, here's our table," Dib said, breaking him out of his deadly reverie.

The Irken brought his attention to the brightly colored table smattered with crumbs. He picked one up as Dib slid into one side of the circular booth. Eyeing curiously, Zim followed suit, completely disgusted, but it would have to do for now. He was starved and there was nothing that was going to stop him from eating! He flicked the crumb away and looked over at the human who was watching him intently. "What is it?" he asked, giving the boy a soft glare.

"Do Irk- I mean, you eat meat?" Dib asked.

Zim blinked. "Yeah. Who doesn't eat meat?" Zim could've scoffed at the notion. The Irken diet consisted of meats, fats, and sugars. Without one of thee three key things, the Irken just wouldn't function.

"Vegetarians and Vegans," Dib replied as he continued to look over a personal menu – something Zim had only seen at fancier, more expensive, places on Food Courtia.

"Vegewhatians and blegans?" Zim repeated, staring wide-eyed at the boy as if he would suddenly sprout a second lekku shaped fur piece or a horn or something.

"Vegetarians and Vegans. Vegetarians don't eat meat. Vegans don't eat any animal products – no milks or eggs. That sort of thing." Dib explained. "Dad got on a vegan kick for a while until Gaz made sure that would never happen again. She likes pizza too much."

Zim allowed this information to mull over in his brain rather than say anything about the insanity of it and the crimes against the nature of the universe some of these humans committed daily. Lower species were created _to_ be eaten, right? He began to wonder if there were others that had sworn off sugars and/or fats, so he posed this question to Dib. "Are there humans that have decided not to eat sugars and fats?"

Much to the Irken's horror, Dib nodded. "Yeah, it's called the low-carb diet and dieting in general."

"Why—? How—?" Zim gasped. How did these humans _survive_?! "Don't you all survive on the three food groups as well?"

"Three? We have six. Fruits, Vegetables, Dairy, Grains, Meat, and Fats." Dib counted each off on his fingers. "Some people choose to focus their diets on certain food groups which can be really bad for the body. You need a balance of everything."

Zim nodded. "Well, naturally, balance is key." The Irken was still frowning though. "But why anyone, Irken or not, would want to eat simply one food group is insanity."

"I agree," Dib said. He opened his mouth to continue, but just then a dirty waitress showed up. "Oh, hi!"

"What can I get 'cha?" she asked, looking from Dib to Zim. She double took on the Irken though and the alien had to wonder if she was smarter than everyone else in the room. But that thought was quickly kicked out of his mind as the waitress' gaze turned sultry. "Can I get you anything _special_, sir?"

Zim's brows rose. "He's ordering," he said, pointing across the table at Dib.

The young human sat up a little straighter as the woman's gaze turned to him and hardened almost instantly. "A large pepperoni and two colas," Dib said, quickly adding "Please" in an attempt to soften the woman's fiery gaze. But that didn't help at all. She just glared harder.

"Will that be all, sir?" she asked, looking back at Zim with a smile.

"I guess…" Zim said. Why was she looking to him for conformation? He just wished the strange human would go away. And she did after a few more moments of looking the Irken over. "What in the name of Irk was she doing looking at me like that?!" His forehead found his hand and rested there for a moment.

"I think she found you attractive," Dib said rather plainly.

Zim spluttered. "Me? Attractive?" He started to laugh. "That Earth monkey found the great Zim attractive!" He slapped the table in his mirth. "Your race amuses Zim."

It was then that Zim noticed that Dib's face had flushed a light pink color. The Irken wondered why this had happened, but was still too amused with the flirtatious female who promptly returned with their drinks to be rewarded by a grin from the Irken.

A similar flushing of the skin occurred in the female's cheeks and she grinned back, revealing half rotten teeth.

Zim visibly shuddered at the sight. Where was this human's sense of sanitation? He shifted away from her in the round booth, taking his soda with him. "Erm, thank you," he murmured, hoping that would make the little drone go away as the words often had that effect on food service drones on Food Courtia.

Unfortunately, that didn't seem to work here.

"Is there anything else that I can get you?" she asked, grinning at him.

"No, that's it." Zim shifted farther away. "We'll be all right now. Good bye."

She hesitated for a moment before turning away, looking confused.

"Rule number one for dealing with human females," Dib began, gaining the Irken's attention. He had one finger held up for emphasis. "Don't smile at them if you're as good looking as you are at the moment. They automatically think you're interested in them even if you aren't." Dib gave him a look from across the table and took a sip of his Poop Cola. "Rule number two," he held up another finger, "Don't be mean to the waitress and say 'good bye.' She might do something to our food." He shuddered. "I swear if there's anything weird with our pizza we're seeing the manager."

Zim ignored the second rule, more concerned with what Dib had said about his loks. Had the tiny human boy said he was good looking? His brow furrowed. Why would Dib say that? Was it just a compliment? Also something the Irken was generally unfamiliar with. If you got a compliment from another Irken, it was a great honor and it was generally over your fighting style, invasion record, or weapon selection. Something like that. Never looks. Unless of course, you were a famous movie star like Tak or Skooge. Or if you were Miyuki, but that was a little different. The Tallest generally was compliment on her exemplary looks. And to receive a compliment in return from Miyuki was an honor above all others. And Zim got compliments from her all the time. But that was only because he was an amazing Invader. Or at least he used to be.

Zim hadn't invaded a planet in almost ten years. Needless to say, he was probably a little rusty. Oh well. Miyuki respected him above all other Irkens. He'd been the best for almost thirty years now. No one could beat his records. Miyuki had even allowed him to retire after his last invasion – the invasion of Meekrob. The Meekrobian Empire fell easily and Zim came home a hero. He had accepted his retirement at first, as it was something that had never been done before for anyone, but then he grew restless. Invaders blood ran through his veins and he hated being so close to other Irkens.

Miyuki had seen his need and allowed him to venture forth into the great beyond, searching for inhabitable planets to conquer later. That was what had brought him into this galaxy and solar system. Had brought him to Earth.

Just then, the waitress returned once again, bearing a large platter. Zim eyed it curiously. It looked like greasy slop to him, but Dib rubbing his hands together, licking his lips hungrily. Zim wished he wouldn't do that. It was just too… sensuous? … Why did he, the amazing Zim, think that the human was—

"Are you okay?" Dib asked, drawing the Irken's attention back to reality.

Zim blinked. Was he okay? Was that a question he could answer? He just nodded though, unsure of what else to do. "I think I'm just hungry. Yeah, that's it." He took the plate Dib passed across the table, and eyed its contents warily. Oh it was a wedge of this so-called pizza. Through the orange grease, he could discern melted cheese and circular slices of meat he assumed was the pepperoni Dib had mentioned earlier. He followed Dib's lead, lifting the sloppy mess off of the plate. He was instantly glad he was wearing gloves underneath the hologram as the grease spread over his fingers. He gulped. "You're sure this tastes good?" Zim asked, giving Dib an unsettled look.

"Nothing's better. 'Cept maybe ice cream." He beamed at the Irken. "Try it. It really is better than it looks."

Zim's squiggly spooch gave an odder shudder and lurch as he continued to hesitate. That generally indicated he needed to eat – and quick. Otherwise he'd pass out and Irk knows what would happen then! The human would probably touch his lekku again – or worse, explore other differences between their anatomies. Zim didn't pause to think about why that idea had occurred to him. He just lifted his slab of pizza and took a bite.

An explosion of flavor dashed his taste buds. His eyes shot wide as he paused in mid-bite. Dear Irk, this was delicious! He began to gobble it down, reaching for another slice at the same time as Dib.

"I take it you like it," Dib said with a grin as he allowed the Irken to take another slice before him.

"Like it?" Zim said as he paused between bites. "No. Love it."

Dib's grin broadened. The Irken didn't know why – but he liked to see the Dib smile.

"I'm glad you like it," the human told him, reaching for his slice now. "Made my day."

The Irken decided not to press that. He could've sworn finding an alien had been the highlight of his life. So why did pleasing the same alien two hours later make his day? He also noted the light blush on the pale boy's cheeks. But decided to store all the information away for later study. Now was the time for food!

Six slices of delicious pizza later, Zim was full and content. He patted his stomach lovingly as digestion started, filling him with the warm, tender feeling of satisfaction and pumping his cells full of the necessary sugars.

"I must say, Dib-human, that was the best thing I have eaten in many months." This statement was completely true, as he had been surviving on freeze-dried space food for the last two years. He hadn't had a hot meal since the discovery of Zort, a planet full of culinary delicacies. He could have remained on that planet for the rest of his life had Miyuki not personally come to the planet to get him off of his suddenly fat ass.

The Tallest had kept a select few of the best chefs and pastry makers, sentencing the rest to hard labor on Food Courtia when they attempted a rebellion upon their accepted king's (the ever-so-amazing Zim) departure.

As far as the Invader knew, things for the Zortians had calmed down and they had fallen into Irken ranks without much more hesitation or strife. After all, they lived to cook and there was no race that could out-eat the Irkens.

"Tell me, Dib-thing, about the other culinary accomplishments of your people," Zim prompted, leaning back in his seat. He picked up his drink and took a drink, relishing in the fact it tasted just like Zeta Soda from home.

"There's quite a few, actually," Dib said. "Earth has a lot of different styles of cooking. Pizza is American, although some people like to call it Italian. There's a dispute over which city it originated in, New York or Chicago, but I'm betting it's New York.

"Another American classic is the hamburger," Dib continued. "I'll have to take you to MacMeaties sometime for that. Hot dogs are all right. But what I like is ice cream. It's the best dessert ever! You can do almost anything with it and you can make it whatever flavor you want. Ice cream is nothing more than perfection. But then there's cake. The best chocolate cake I ever ate was the one my mom made me for my tenth birthday. Just before she…" Dib suddenly stopped and looked down at the table.

Zim's brows rose, then drew together. "What is it, Dib?" Zim asked softly. He could tell that whatever had happened to his mother had not been good and had been quite serious. Not to mention obviously traumatic for the young human.

Dib didn't say anything for a few more minutes. He just took the napkin out of his lap, put it on the table and slid out of his seat. "I'll be right back," the human said before walking away, some how making his way completely unharmed by the rampaging children. The Irken lost sight of him quickly in the throngs of sticky-faced humans, so he turned his gaze back to the table.

What could trouble the human so? Was it something terrible? Had she lost her honor? Had she faced serious mutation and was forced by whatever government ruled this planet to relocate? Or had she simply died?

Zim could certainly imagine worse fates than death. He had personally dealt some of these fates out, so he would know. But torture could only hold its fun for so long. Either death or release follows. And if the Dib's female parental figure had met a fate worse than death, she had obviously died. After all, in other races, he had encountered, the mother held more importance than a sibling, so Dib would have brought the Irken to his mother instead of the hell-beast.

The alien pondered this for some length until the waitress returned. "Anything else I can get you?" she asked as she collected their plates and pizza pan, refilling Zim's drink while she was at it. She gave him a nervous smile.

"Yes, actually. Does this establishment serve ice cream?" He blinked up at her hopefully. Perhaps whatever dessert this was, it would cheer the Dib up.

"Yeah, we do. We got vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry," she replied counting each off on her fingers. "Can I get you a scoop?"

"Yes… But I am not sure which of these flavors my friend prefers…" Zim should have asked Dib what ice cream exactly was, but now he'd just find out the hands-on way.

"You're with Dib Membrane, right? Man, him and his sister are a terror. They come in all the time, usually with their dad over TV screen, rarely with the professor in the flesh. He tends to order strawberry. Gaz likes chocolate. Personally, I think our strawberry is the best."

"We'll have strawberry then," Zim said with a nod.

"All right, be right back." She took the dirty dishes away and Zim had to thank her. If she hadn't told him, he'd never know what to pick.

The waitress returned before Dib did, bringing with her bowls of pink spheres. Zim eyed it curiously. So this was ice cream?

"Thank you," the Invader murmured as she smiled at him and wandered away. Zim poked at the silver spoon sticking out of his dessert, nudging it back and forth idly. He wondered what was keeping the small human. Wouldn't he have recovered by now? Zim gave a mental shrug. Best to wait it out and not get overly involved.

Growing ever-more bored, and irritated, the Irken waited. The noise was getting to him, irking him to no end. And the fact that he, a tall and amazing invader, was waiting for a short, assuming human just bothered him. It was his Irken nature getting the better of him.

Motion near him caught his attention and his eyes turned to find Dib shuffling back to the table with his head hanging. He scooted back into his seat without looking at Zim. But when he saw what was on the table, he looked up at him. "What's this?" Dib asked, looking from the half-melted spheres to the Irken.

"It is apparently strawberry ice cream," the Irken replied blandly, watching the human's reaction carefully.

"How'd you know? Strawberry is my favorite. How'd you know?" the human asked frantically, starting to panic. "Oh God! Are you a mind reader? Do you know what I've been thinking all along?!"

The Irken's straight face only lasted for so long. A grin cracked over his features as he as he tried to stifle his giggles. "No, I'm not. But that certainly fucked with you, didn't it?!" He couldn't hold it any longer and burst out laughing. When he'd finally calmed himself a few minutes later, he told him how he knew. "The waitress is more observant than she looks. She knows what you and your sister like."

"Oh… Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why'd you get the ice cream?" he asked, looking up at Zim with wide, innocent, and deeply sad eyes.

The Irken felt something rip inside and he didn't like the feeling. It was all because of the look in the human's eyes. Damn he didn't like it. "I got it because I thought it would make you feel better and I wanted to try it."

Dib stared at him, wide eyed. "No one's ever…" he murmured, his eyes squeezing shut suddenly. "No one but mom ever cared about how I felt!" He snuffled, trying not to cry.

Zim almost scrambled out of his seat. The human was crying! The Irken started to hyperventilate, freaking out. He'd never seen anything cry that wasn't being tortured. He found himself pressed tightly against the booth seat, trying to get as far away from the human as he could without actually getting up and running away. He knew that if he did, that would hurt the human more. How he knew that, he didn't know. Nor was he so concerned about that part. He was far more concerned with what the hell he was supposed to do to make it _stop!_


	4. Chapter 4

Hello friends! Sorry I haven't updated this in... Well, forever. I do have another chapter in the works, it's just taking me a very long time to do it. I'm lacking inspiration. I want to thank each and every one of you for liking my story and reviewing! I'll get a new chapter up as soon as I possibly can.


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